So, as long as I'm doing stuff I realized that as part of my show at the commercial station every Friday morning, I do my own News Headlines program, always around 7 minutes long (loosely) where I take the actual news headlines of the week and read 'em with a (usually) stupid punchline. I've done this every Friday for probably the last 10 years or so. Someties they're funny, sometimes not so much, and they're rarely polically correct, but it dawned on me that I have the audio file saved from the show every week and it would be easy to upload it and make it available to anyone who wants to use it on their station.
So, IF there is any interest at all let me know and I'll simply go ahead and uupload the file to this same link every Friday morning and you can do with it what you want. Not you'll get chuckles and comments from my co-host in the morning too, but I think they're plenty generic to use anywhere. This weeks news headlines (From this Friday the 21st) are at
http://www.ironrangecountry.com/newsheadlines.mp3
But I won't bother uploading the new ones every week if no one wants to use 'em. It's really not work to upload it, but I hate to try to remember to do it if no one has any use for them 🙂
Tim in Bovey
Tim, you are the right man for the job!
I am first in line to grab and use your news segment every Friday.
I have been adding every news item I can find because I notice that some newscasts have stories that other newscasts don't have.
From Friday evening at 8 PM to Saturday morning at 10 AM I run "The Week in Repeat," containing ALL the news segments from the past week.
ATTENTION OTHER STATIONS...
Pick up on Tim's Weekly News!
I'd love to run this on the LPFM but I don't think the locals would let it fly...
MRAM what do you think the locals want on their LPFM by way of news?
What is it they don't like about news they don't want.
A large portion of our population are seniors. Some people are offended by adult humor as subtle as it may be.
I'd run Tim's news briefs on the LPFM but I'd have to hold my breath.
We're not Bible Belt but we have our share of Ernest Angelys...
Some people take their fantasies very seriously.
FWIW I do those news headlines every Friday (and have for over 10 years) on a 5000 watt commercial AM station, in morning drive time, to an audience of roughly 50,000 most of whom are between 50 and 80 years old. Although I have been training them for my humor and attitude for 27 years LOL. The weekly headlines are about the raunchiest thing I do on the air. Some weeks they're pretty tame, some weeks they can be quite naughty (but never anything worse than you hear on prime time TV after dinner). How they turn out each week depends on what headlings are in the news that week, my indset/attitude when I write them, and where the adlibbing goes when we're on the air.
You have to go with what you believe you audience will appreciate. However, 27 years ago when I came to work here no one wold have ever imagined getting away with this sort of stuff on our pretty straight-laced station.
Tim
My first airing of Tim's Headlines took place tonight, and I had fun listening. I did not phone myself with a complaint. I will not send a protest e-mail.
The Tim Headlines are going to be heard every Friday with our "Week In Repeat" all evening/night re-airing of the week's news.
We have a big deal coming up locally in 1-hour and five-minutes.... the grand jury decision in the copshooting of a teen, which has been going on for three month.
Protesters will be in a serious position if there's no indictment, the para-military police state and national guard are posed for unrest, of the same kind they themselves have staged up till now. This is not an editorial remark, and is well documented in newspapers and by radio and tv reports.
If there is an indictment, I don't know if people will party or go home or what...
If indicted, then we'll have the drama of a trial and it's outcome.
It didn't strike me as offensive at all. Although I wouldn't opt to call it "news". Sounds a lot like a morning program like is heard on about any morning drive programming (usually on the FM dial).
I thought it was well done, but not everyones cup of tea.
Rich Powers usually gives me new ideas, and he mentioned the expression "Cup of Tea," a phrase commonly linked to whether someone likes something or not.
Perhaps weaving the expression into the program's title listeners would be primed to "like it," i.e., "Tim's News in a Cup of Tea."
I liked it! It's like a show called "Knuckle Heads In The News" that was very popular on Cleveland's WMJI until Lanigan retired.
It's the subtle double entendre like the "high heels" and "breast feeding" segments that some may complain about.
After all, the station programming is supposed to be from the High School students.
One way or the other, the news headlines have been updated as of this morning. I'll upload news ones every Friday morning but may not remember to mention it here, but for the most part you can have faith that the update will happen every Friday morning. Clearly some weeks will be better than others -- I've been doing this schtick for 10+ years -- it depends on the news that week and what kind of mental state I'm in when I jot down the punchlines 🙂
Tim in Bovey
Tim, you get the Headlines uploaded and if you don't have time to post a reminder maybe I'll remember to jump in and say something, since I now use your headlines avery Friday.
Like anyone, I find the headlines mostly as funny as you make them out to be, but sometimes I might consider certain subjects very serious, like the personal lives of seals and penquins in the Antarctic.
If you were in the Antarctic long enough you might start getting personal with a penquin yourself. It wouldn't seem funny when campmates started Tweeting about it.
http://www.ironrangecountry.com/newsheadlines.mp3
Last night MRAM 1500 shared this weekend's News Headlines from Tim in Bovey, and we all laughed and enjoyed them.
As MRAM already posted, these headlines can be found here through this thread or at the ALPB site under Content.
The reason for news in the world is to provide punch lines for Tim.